piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
