Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
