if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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