bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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