I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
