Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
