it wasn't lemon gatorade
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
