You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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