So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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