Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
