There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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