wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
