is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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