Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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