Your tits are I can't wait for
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
