I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
