We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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