remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
