I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
