I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
a search helicopter?!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
