I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
