Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
