i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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