Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
