youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
