Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
