I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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