O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
