Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
