I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
