Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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