i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
