50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
