Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
