just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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