You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
