no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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