Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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