So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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