I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize