the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
