I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
