hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
