I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
