Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My ass is underappreciated
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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