He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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