His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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