Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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