A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
