I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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