Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
