I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
