Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Someone came in the potted fern
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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