they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
