what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
