i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
