do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
