I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
