I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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