Your tits are I can't wait for
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mom said you looked used
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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