The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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