Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
