ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
