do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
