I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
