why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
