You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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