I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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