it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
