how can u be prego again
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
